So before I had kids I was one of the many that said the famous phrase “I would never do that if I had kids” and of course now I have two of my own little bundles of joy, I am the mum whose eaten my words and here are 10 reasons why:
#1 When you log onto Facebook you have to scroll for at least a minute to get beyond my photos of my children eating, sleeping or smiling.
#2 As you enter my home I’ve found new excuses every time to why the house is a mess, smells and why I haven’t brushed my hair. You get this 5 minute speech whether you want it or not.
#3 A conversation with me involves me chasing my toddler, changing a bum or shouting at them whilst reassuring you “Keep going, I am listening”
#4 My babies are my excuse, to go home early, to cancel appointments and when the weather is too hot/cold/windy/wet/dry to leave the house. Plus these reasons just to convince you: Teething, tiredness & being a baby!
#5 I constantly smell of “Eau De Baby” This is a combination of dried milk & sick, poop & pee and some things where I’m not even sure what they are, you do well not to say anything…but your distance tells me everything.
#6 I’m never on time, even when I leave early, even when I plan ahead, you can’t prepare for a poo explosion so catastrophic it goes through nappies and two layers of clothing!
#7 Any time I’m on the phone to you, you are lulled into a false sense of security by me talking peacefully then without warning “GET OFF THAT! GET DOWN” Yep screaming at my child who’s about to back flip off the settee, whilst in close range of your ear.
#8 I had ANOTHER baby, yep you thought I was irritating now…times it by two!
#9 Nappy free time, handing them a yoghurt to eat themselves and not wiping their snot, all the things you’re quietly raging about me doing in your presence.
#10 I changed! I’m not the carefree, funny person I used to be! I’m a mum and I’m one of those annoying mum’s that thinks I’ve finally found my purpose in life, I rave about being a mummy and every conversation we have I steer it towards my kids, I love them so so so so much! Annoying, right?