Calling Bullsh*t On Mum Shaming

Breast might be “best” but the truth is if formula didn’t exist a lot of babies would of died and if you lined a class of children up you’d never know who had been formula fed and who had been breast fed. You don’t know if someone has struggled breast feeding or if they just preferred formula and simply it is none of your business. Also when a breastfeeding mother does it in public it’s because the baby is hungry, believe it or not we do not find our leaking, engorged breasts being sucked on until they are raw as attractive, so no it’s not to “get our boobs out” it’s to feed our hungry babies. Just be happy that the baby is getting a full tummy, that’s all that matters. I’ve done both breast and formula feeding and now they both throw the same psychopathic tantrums.

Stay at home or working parent? I’ll let you into a secret, you don’t love your child more or less whichever you do, they’ll still keep you up at night, annoy the life out of you at times and cuddling them will make you forget all your problems for that moment. Judging someone for their working circumstances just shows a lack of experience in it. Children have long survived working and stay at home parents and either way they are going to grow into teenagers that don’t want to speak to us anyway.

Losing the baby weight. The reality is you’ve just created a human who has turned your life upside down, that is accepted. It’s accepted your house will change, your routine will change, your priorities will change…this is all accepted without question, yet your body where this little person has set up camp for 9 months is expected not to change! Shaming someone for their appearance at any other time would be considered bullying, yet we’re given unrealistic expectations on the front of magazines of how celebs have their 6 pack back a week after giving birth. So many mum’s beat themselves up for not dropping the weight as soon as their baby is born, you’ve just created a mini-person, give yourself a break and look at the bigger picture, you’d give anything for your child to be happy and content in their own skin, so why not be the person they learn that from, instead of society giving them an unrealistic perception of what is “normal”.

Time alone, really once you have children then there is no time alone, even when are sat in an empty house. Your mind doesn’t switch off from the minute they are born, ever! To any non-parents reading this, it isn’t as terrifying as it sounds, but the truth is in the back of your mind there is always a little worry when you aren’t with them, but you wouldn’t have it any other way! This however, does not mean that you aren’t human and don’t need a break from time to time and also that you are important and it’s ok for you to enjoy time without them there. The general consensus seems to be it’s ok for Dad to go down the pub to wind down, but if Mum goes on a night out and let’s her hair down then she is a terrible mother. Don’t get me wrong if you’ve left 2 year old Junior home alone with only the TV to keep them company, while you’ve gone out to get wasted and woken up in a police cell, then you probably don’t deserve mother of the year. But don’t be ashamed to admit you have another name as well as mum.

The truth is we’ve all got different children, so there isn’t one way to parent and really we’re all just fluking it in different ways.

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