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Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about

Pregnancy, something women can do that men can’t, so people assume it’s OK to ask about and of course they mean no harm, but a lot of women are fighting a battle you know nothing about.

The heartbreaking truth is, there are so many battles, you can never be too careful when speaking to a women about having a baby, there are so many scenarios, anyone could be suffering silently and you know nothing about it.

The couple you ask “When will we be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet?”

For all you know they may have trouble conceiving, they may have tried IVF, it may have failed.

They may have lost a baby, they may have lost several.

Or maybe they aren’t ready yet, they might not of even had that conversation, or maybe they have and have decided it isn’t their time yet. But still this is the question they get asked at every coffee with a friend, family function or by nosy strangers.

The women who’s going into her late 20’s, or her 30’s or even her 40’s, you tell her she better get a move on, her biological clock is ticking.

What if she has a health condition? What if she doesn’t want to tell you about it? But yet now she has to make the decision of whether she has to disclose that information to you or brush it off and make some excuse for why she isn’t having children, yet inside her heart is breaking.

Maybe she doesn’t want children, yet has to justify this reason to you. But why? Shouldn’t this be her decision? If she feels like talking about it, then she can.

What if she hasn’t found the person she feels is the right person to have a child with? Why should she have to settle and rush the decision on who she should make another human being with, because society is pressurising her?

Or maybe, just maybe, she isn’t ready yet, she doesn’t know when she’ll be ready, but when her time comes she’ll know. She shouldn’t have to have her life mapped out just because you ask her.

The couple that already have children, the first question is always “So when are you having another?”.

Really? Why is that the first question, why isn’t it about their life right now? Why can’t their life be perfect right now, just the way it is? Why is there the constant…what’s next, about someone’s life?

There seems to be common assumption that because a couple have had a baby, that they can easily have another, this isn’t always the case. Secondary Infertility is extremely common.

Can you imagine how heartbreaking it must feel for people to assume…”well you’ve done it once why can’t you do it again?” How frustrating must it be knowing your body has done that and all you want is for it to do it again, yet it won’t.

Or even worse, people give the “Well at least you’ve got one(or two or three etc.)” who is anyone to judge whether someone can be heartbroken that they can’t conceive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love the child they have with all their heart, if anything it means they love that child so much they want another mini human to love unconditionally like they do with their other children.

The men, people seem to think that men are a free for all when it comes to insulting conception comments. They are the other half of this couple, they are feeling the pain just as much as their partner is. Just because they don’t carry their child doesn’t mean they won’t feel the pain of a Miscarriage or yet another negative pregnancy test.

Or what is to say that men can’t have a yearning for children, yet they haven’t found the right woman to do it with?

Even insults about their ability to be “a man” because they haven’t managed to father a child, how is that any different to saying a woman is “less of a woman” because they can’t conceive. Both are unacceptable untrue comments, that unfortunately still get said.

Pregnancy, usually the first question is “What are you hoping for? Boy or Girl?”, but if you’ve already got a child it is automatically assumed you really want the opposite gender for your new baby, it could never just be the case that you just want a healthy baby?

Pregnancies can be so complicated, sometimes all you need is for someone to ask if you’re OK, or how you are doing. Not “I bet you can’t wait for it to be over” or “You’re so big are you sure there’s only one in there?” or “You’re so small, are you sure you’re that far along?”. All questions said completely innocently, but to a pregnant woman can be upsetting and offensive.

Most people don’t mean to offend and you can’t be aware of everyone’s situations, I’m guilty of innocently saying a comment that I hadn’t realised may have hurt someone’s feelings. The point of this post isn’t to stop people speaking and expecting people to tip toe around each other, but just to be aware that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so just be considerate and think before you speak.

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A break from blogging

So  I’ve had a bit of a break from blogging the last few months. I’ve really missed it and feel there are so many things I have missed recording about my little monkey’s.

To re-cap I have two little boys Jack (2.5 yrs) and Michael (1.5 yrs) and write about all the trials and tribulations of being their mummy. Since I stopped blogging things have changed quite a lot, I am now expect a baby GIRL!

I will talk about my pregnancy more in upcoming posts but I’m still in shock it is a girl!

I just wanted to write a quick post about why I haven’t been blogging for a while, there has been no major reason other than life just getting in the way.

So now I have my 2yr old, 1 yr old, 20 weeks Pregnancy and my wedding in 8 weeks! Safe to say I have plenty to write about…..

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Christmas Gift Guide Request

I’m creating a Christmas Gift Guide of tried and tested toys!

I will try some my self with the kids and also accept reviews from real mum’s & kiddies with pictures!

If you would like to get in contact for my boys aged 1 & 2 to try your product or to send your review in for consideration then please get in contact via Facebook or Twitter!!

Happy Holidays!christmas-presents

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Halloween with kids ideas!

I had so many ideas for Halloween with the boys but unfortunately they got struck down with a sickness bug, they are recovering now, but since they are too young to understand Halloween I saw no need to dress them up when it would benefit them more having a cosy day in their PJs. Plus it’s the one night a month they spend at Nanny’s house, so they’re having a quiet one!

But saying that I do love Halloween and think kids are adorable dressed up for it! I really wanted to do Jack dressed as Chucky and Mikey as the baby from The Adam’s Family. I then saw a friend of mine on Facebook, Harriet, who has a baby the same age as Mikey, dressed her and her son Luca up for a Halloween competition and won 1st and 2nd Place!

Like me, Harriet likes to create a lot of homemade sensory activities for her son, she gets creative and look at the results!

Luca1 Luca2 Luca3

Harriet was kind enough to let me use her pictures for this post!

So there you go a fun and creative way to dress up with your little on for Halloween.

If any readers have pictures of their cute little ones, comment with them or send them in via Facebook or Twitter!

Happy Halloween!

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The screaming, kicking & punching terrible 2’s are here!

Jack turns two on the 11th November, it’s hard to believe that my tiny premature baby that was born at 29+5 weeks Gestation is almost two!

... jack

Especially since he started not even being able to breathe by himself and now he has got a whole personality of his own, saying words, starting to string sentences together, feeding himself, knowing he does NOT want to use the potty and of course the reason they are called the terrible two’s….the tantrums.

He’s always been very loving and affectionate especially to his little brother, but I will give you a few scenarios in the last week that have shown the sudden change in his behaviour.

Tantrum 1 – Biting

We were playing “tractor” which started with me getting a picture of a tractor on google images for Jack to point at and say “tractor” to on my laptop, we have gradually progressed and now he says around 30-40 words, the other day we were playing a lovely game of tractor when Jack started smacking the laptop, so I looked at him and said “No Jack, that’s naughty”, he looked at me with anger, his body went rigid with rage, he ran over to his Daddy who was laid on the sofa and without any warning, bit him on the leg! There was pure anger, from nowhere! All of a sudden he was fine and accepted being told off, he gave Daddy a kiss and a cuddle with an apology. But it was so shocking! He has never bitten before!

Tantrum 2 – Raisins

Jack loves eating his dinner, him and Mikey sit side by side in their high chairs and never have any objections, except for Tuesday, on Tuesday this all changed. He screamed and went rigid, he wouldn’t calm down and just stormed about screaming, then all of a sudden walked over to the table and pointed at a box of Raisins, we handed him the box and he was fine, he then got in his high chair and ate all of his dinner. I didn’t see this as giving into him, as I’d happily give him a snack and considering he ate all of his tea, I saw his anger as frustration that he couldn’t communicate what he wanted.

Tantrum 3 – Bath time

Bath time is Jack’s favourite time of day hands-down, so when I get him out of it, there is a 5 second struggle until he remembers he then gets to watch a bit of Peppa Pig and have his night time bottle. Tonight I laid him on the towel and he kicked, punched and scratched, it only lasted for maybe 20 seconds then he was fine, he had his nightly inhaler and calmed down, I was in shock though, shock that my tiny snuggly baby that needed me to survive would try and hurt me! I know he doesn’t know the difference and is learning from his emotions, but still it’s hard to deal with!

They say that a toddler’s hormones are the same as a teenagers, well if Jack’s feeling the hormones I felt as a teenager I’m going to run and hide…this can only get worse!

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The daily battles of being a Mum

There’s always something that “could be done” in my house, whether it’s housework, paperwork, something with the kids etc. There’s never nothing to do! As I’m sure most mother’s can relate to.

Take the dishes for instance, I can clean the entire Kitchen and nothing makes more of a difference to the naked eye than the dishes, they look the messiest and soon pile up, doing them instantly makes the place look better….so why do I leave them until last?! They’re not hard to do, I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, but I will make excuses in my mind! Like “There will be more upstairs, might as well do them all in one go, so wait”, “They’re one of the quickest jobs to do so leave them until last” or my favourite “There isn’t enough there to justify doing them, wait until there is more”. None of which really matters, because that is all they are….excuses. I just don’t know what it is about them dishes I just can’t seem to get the motivation!

Vacuuming, it makes me feel like a good housewife, while doing it and sniffing in the vacuum smell I boast to myself in my head (Sad? Yes I know) about how tidy my house must be that there is enough floor space to vacuum it! If the house isn’t tidy, the vacuum’s collecting dust in a whole different way…by being sat in the broom cupboard, because I’m telling you if there isn’t a spotless house to vacuum, it isn’t getting done. Therefore vacuuming is a triumph.

Matching socks, the peril of my life. I never saw matching socks as that big an issue, until I became a mum, then suddenly if your child has odd socks it instantly puts you in the “bad mum category”. Not that I think you’re not a great mum if your child has matching socks, I take my hat off to you, but it really isn’t that big a deal to me. I am not a greatly religious person, but since having children I do believe in Sock Heaven.

Milestones, sorry to sound brash but I don’t give a shi*t what milestone my child is at. I only have two children, but they are complete and utter opposites. When parents compare at what age their children teethe, hold their head up, crawl, walk etc. It really gets on my nerves! Every child is different and will develop differently, the will do it, just in their own time. For me personally I am in no rush for my baby to take one more step away from being a baby!

The daily battles of being a momma never end, but they will be the battles we miss when our babies are all grown up! Enjoy it while it lasts!

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Turning One

On the 1st October my youngest baby Mikey Moo will be one!

Time has flown so quickly, this time last year I was preparing my self to have a C-section with my Breach baby!

Then at 11:57am weighing 4lb12oz my gorgeous Michael David Woodhouse was born.

6 months to the day after my Dad died, he brought us light in the darkest of times.

Here are some pics from the last 12 months:

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