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Why you shouldn’t teach your kids to respect their elders

Many sayings and traditions have stood the test of time, one that stood out from my childhood is that you must “respect your elders”.

Now, I’m not saying this a bad idea to drill into kids, but all I’m saying is…isn’t it a bit dated?

Gone are the days when children were seen but not heard and we all know how disciplining children has changed over the years.

Once upon a time, nobody would bat an eyelid at you giving your child a clip round the ear in public, but times have changed and now there’s a wider knowledge base and support network for disciplining children.

I’m not saying parents, grandparents, teachers or any authoritative adult in a child’s life shouldn’t be respected and listened to.

I’m not even saying that kids shouldn’t look up to their elders, these are the people they are modelling themselves on, all I’m saying is…

Shouldn’t we teach kids to “respect…everybody”

Isn’t it wiser to broaden the spectrum of who our children are taught to respect?

Shouldn’t parents have respect for their children?

Think about it….

We are teaching them how to be a person after all, we’re also teaching them what is acceptable and what isn’t?

If it is OK for an older person to be rude to a younger person, aren’t we just teaching our kids to accept abuse?

I know the saying doesn’t necessarily say that elders will be rude, it’s more of a way just to steer youngsters in the right direction, but I feel in a day and age where mutual respect is sort of given, doesn’t it make more sense that we teach our kids to have respect for each other, so there are no blurred lines?

I had the thought to write this blog post because of a situation I saw in my doctor’s waiting room last week, I was waiting to get Nicole’s immunisations and there was another lady getting her 1 year old daughter into her buggy after getting her jabs. Her daughter was obviously upset after getting FOUR injections, the poor little love, I think I’d be crying too, but to be honest I didn’t really notice, she wasn’t overly screaming or drawing attention to herself. Her poor mother was trying her best to soothe her and get all their gubbins together (we all know how much baggage these little people come with). Then out of nowhere an elderly lady (at least in her eighties) pipes up and has the audacity to tell the mother she should be talking to her daughter, that she shouldn’t be ignoring her! I’m not being funny, but…

  1. Who the hell asked her?
  2. The mother was most definitely NOT ignoring her daughter
  3. We all know that kids are much better in motion and it was obvious the woman was rushing to get the heck out of dodge

Now I know this doesn’t directly relate to the saying “respect your elders” that I’ve been discussing in this blog post, but I have been thinking about that situation for about a week now and it made me think, why did this woman feel she had the right to openly and publicly judge this mother? Also why did the Mum not feel she had the right to argue back?

It’s difficult…especially with older frail people, sometimes it’s better to walk away, rather than raise the heart rate of an eighty year old, but I’m more interested to why it happened in the first place.

Obviously with people who are generations older than us, they have built into them what their parents taught them, of course they do, don’t we all? So maybe it’s not our place to change them but change the future? To prevent these situations in the future, it’s important we teach mutual respect for our children between people of all ages.

I know, I know….the world of parenting isn’t black and white! We all break our own rules sometimes and there are always things we wished we had done differently, but there’s nothing wrong with putting ideas in our kids heads about what they should accept and how they should treat other people. Plus we all know not everyone teaches their children to be respectful, but that doesn’t mean we can’t teach our children to politely respect other people even if that means people they don’t like there’s a polite way to ignore someone than openly flashing evil stares to their primary school nemesis.

I’ve rambled on for a while now over just a little thought, but it’s one that’s been on my mind for a while, instead of ONLY respecting our elders, let’s respect EVERYBODY.

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Day 11: 365 Day Activity Challenge

11th January 2017

Today is Wacky Wednesday and the 11th day of my 365 day activity challenge.

Wacky finger painting!

Today we decided to have some teatime fun and we used the boys place mats from Eat Sleep Doodle  which the boys are going to colour in later this week!

Today they wanted to just have fun with painting, so we just used their fingers to do some finger painting after their tea (Mikey had stolen his sister’s dummy).

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Day 5: The 365 Day Activity Challenge

5th January 2017

The fifth day of our 365 activity challenge and today is Thoughtful Thursday and we used our imagination to turn the laundry basket into a boat on rough waters (in our kitchen, ha!).

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I was actually going to build a den with sheets and chairs today, but the boys came up with this game themselves when they were helping me do the laundry.

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They took it in turns standing in the basket and I pulled them around in it and we pretended (very dramatically) they were in a storm at sea, then they had a go together.

I love seeing them use their imagination and I’m looking forward to Food Friday with them tomorrow!

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Why not join in and take part, don’t forget to use the hashtag #ymbactivitychallenge

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Day 2: The 365 Day Activity Challenge

2nd January 2017

The 2nd day of my 365 Day Activity Activity Challenge today and it’s Messy Monday!

Considering we’ve just gone into a new year, we decided to do some painting! Painting fireworks! We made it extra creative and used dish brushes.

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The shape of the brush makes perfect fireworks and we added glitter to make it a bit more messy and pretty!

I bought the brushes for 50p each from ASDA and the paint from our craft box at home which has been bought for 99p each.

Jack loved making fireworks! Mikey wasn’t so interested so I’ll try at another time when he’s more interested in sitting still for more than 30 seconds.

Happy New Year Everyone!

 

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The Last Baby

I always knew I wanted a big family, I wasn’t sure how many kids maybe four or five. I didn’t predict the difficulties I’d have in pregnancy due to my Bicornuate Uterus…how could I? So fast forward to full fledged family life I have three kids, am married and have had two Cesareans, which means I can have one more baby and it will have to be a Cesarean the doctors say.

If you’d have asked me a few years ago if I’d like to stop at three children, I’d of said absolutely not! I love them when they are babies and as toddlers and as little people. Even though it’s tough and hard work, I love it, I feel like it is what I was made to do. I’m not looking forward to the time my house is quiet and not overrun by little dictators.

But due to the health problems and risks I have in pregnancy and the practical side of having three kids, I have nowhere, literally nowhere to put a fourth baby when I go out means I’m toying with the idea of this being the point where I stop. I know I could wait a few years and have another one when these three are in school, but then I love the fact these are all close together and I just keep getting the feeling I am done.

There is a feeling of sadness with your last baby, don’t get me wrong I am so full of love, there is so much love in my heart I am overwhelmed, but there is an end of an era like finishing your years of child bearing….which is OK. People tell you, that you should be happy with your lot, well I am, I have three beautiful children and wouldn’t change them. They have given me the best experiences of my life so far and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving them, but knowing you won’t go through a pregnancy, birth and newborn, toddler and preschool age again is a little sad. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just that you’ve loved that part of life so much it’s a bit upsetting when that ends.

When you have the feeling this is your last baby, you hold them a little closer and stare at them a little longer, not because you love them anymore but because your older children have taught you how fast it goes, you wouldn’t change the amazing, hilarious and beautiful people they turn into, but you find yourself telling people it only seems like yesterday they were tiny and you take it for granted amongst the piles of nappies and sleepless nights time seems to pass in a blur, so of course it’s different when you’re holding your last child, your older children have taught you to cherish these tiny cuddly moments, because before we know it the sleepless nights just wanting 5 minutes peace from our newborn will turn into sleepless nights worrying about our teenagers.

So I never thought I’d say it, but Nicole could be my last baby. Not because she’s a girl after two boys, me and Paul had this conversation during my pregnancy when I thought she was a boy. Only time will tell, but to be honest I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have three beautiful babies that are all healthy and I am content with the possibility family is complete.

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Joosr: Book Summaries You Will Love: A Review

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Looking for the perfect Christmas present?

What about the gift of never-ending reading?

Joosr provides the best summaries of books to expand your knowledge.

Let’s face it with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is becoming increasingly difficult to fit the time in to read books, well Joosr has the answer.

I’ve had three children in three years, but am desperate to keep my brain active by reading and learning new skills and information. As you can imagine it’s impossible to fit the time in, even if I can try fit a chapter a night in, by the time I actually finish a book, I’ve forgotten most of it. So a summary I can access straight from my phone or tablet is perfect. One thing I really missed when I became a mum was reading, because the time is just not there, well now there is a solution.

It’s perfect for the entire family, my husband has a busy work schedule and sometimes doesn’t finish until late, so it’s perfect for him to fit in some reading, before work, on his break or when he gets home, he can fit in a quick twenty minutes.

It makes sense to me the company was created by a single mother with a career in publishing and business man, who has a demanding job and long commute, they both have very little time to read, so created Joosr where you can read the “gist” of a book in just 20 minutes.

Personally I have read more of the business, entrepreneurship and parenting books so far, but since they are only 20 minutes long, I have an account for a year, so it is achievable for me to read all of them. How great is that? I finally have my reading time back, it might not be the amount of time I had to read before I had children, but let’s face it I’m not going to have the time to read an entire book, so thank goodness for Joosr!

The books provided in Joosr are all full of new skills and learning, so in bite size portions you can expand your knowledge across a range of genres. Plus it’s an app so you can get it on any device, so whether you’re quietly grabbing 20 minutes when the kids are asleep, on the bus commuting or on your lunch break at work, Joosr has made it simple and easy to fit in some valuable reading time.

So there is every reason you should have Joosr for yourself, I mean no matter who you are or what your profession there’s a book for you! There’s even a section on careers, if you aren’t quite sure. There is also every reason you should buy Joosr for someone else, Christmas is literally around the corner with only a few days to go! This is the ultimate last-minute gift, forget nipping to the shop for a box of chocolates and yet another pair of slippers, why not provide them with the gift of never-ending reading? I mean 250 books?! Have you ever tried to read 250 books? Or for that matter wrap 250 book? Well you can deliver them all to your loved ones device for only £42.99! That’s for an entire year! Your reading needs and knowledge expanded for only £42.99, how great is that?

According to a VoucherCodesPro.co.uk survey from 2015, the most common unwanted gifts are: socks, bubble bath sets, pyjamas, and DVDs—with unwanted gifts totalling a whopping £2 billion each year, that’s £52.50 for every adult in the U.K.

The waste doesn’t end there, with around 1 billion Christmas cards making their way into the bin come Christmas day, along with 227,000 miles of gift wrap. Imagine what The Proclaimers would make of that?

Whether you want to treat yourself, or someone doesn’t know what to get you for Christmas or you are stuck for what to buy a loved one, give them the gift of never-ending reading. You can leave it right until the last-minute and you don’t have to wrap it, plus you know they’ll use it for the entire year! It’s a no-brainer really.

To purchase this great gift (or treat for yourself) for the OH MY GOD price of £42.99 then just click this link:

Purchase Joosr for just £42.99

If you want to find out more information then check out their website:

Joosr Website

Or to get regular updates and follow their social media, here are the links:

Joosr Facebook

Joosr Twitter

Joosr Google Plus

Joosr Youtube

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Shovelling snow in a blizzard: Life with having three kids in three years

We hadn’t planned it this way, it felt like it took forever to finally have our first baby in our arms. Now our home is overrun by tiny dictators.

As they say the days are long, but the years are short. This is true, the days are really really long and so are the nights. You know how people tell you at different stages how their kids started “sleeping through”…yeah! Mine did that too, they love their sleep…Then you have to take off the nights where there will be teething, nightmares, sickness, illness, over-tiredness, hyperness or the fact they just don’t want to sleep. But when you have to be at an appointment for 9am guarantee they will want to lie in until lunchtime. Basically if you want to live in a world full of irony, have kids.

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Bribery…this will be your key to survival when you have relentless toddlers. Some people will say you shouldn’t bribe your kids, to them people I say spend a day in my house, you will soon turn into a bribing negotiator. Unless you give a child a good reason to do something why are they going to do it? Would you go to work if you didn’t get paid? So if I want my child to sit still while I dress him so I can get out of the house on time, I have no qualms about offering them a treat when they get to town if they just get their coat on! Or threatening to throw all of their trains in the bin if they don’t apologise for hitting their brother. I might be going about it the wrong way, but I haven’t had to threaten or bribe as much as they’ve got older because they know if they are good they will get rewarded and if they are naughty they will be punished…isn’t that just like grown up life? But you MUST follow through, if you show any sign of weakness and use empty threats your kids will jump on that opportunity to over rule you like tiny little terrorists.

Leaving the house is a military operation, especially when you need to be somewhere for a certain time…why is it I’m always given the 9am appointments? So my mode of transport is a double buggy called Zoom by Obaby. It’s not your standard double buggy, but I prefer it. Then I have Nicole in my Ama Wrap, it looks a little something like this…

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Nicole also has her own buggy a Redkite Push Me Fusion, for when I’m with my husband so we can push a buggy each.

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It’s when I’m by myself with the three kids I get heckled, some comments I don’t mind, like “Oh wow how do you cope?” because to me they are saying, you do cope…how do you do it? But it’s when people stop and gawk in horror as if I’m pushing around a cart of explosives and comment with “I bet they weren’t planned” or “I hope you’re going to stop now” and “You’ve got your hands full you know?!” the answers are actually they were all planned, I’m not ready to stop and I’ve got my hands and heart completely full of love, nappies and snot…I wouldn’t change a second of it.

Be ready to keep bobbing up for air in a sea full of nappies, that’s right, none are potty trained yet. I keep trying to introduce Jack to it and we’re getting there, but I’m a great believer of not forcing something like using the toilet, he’s got the rest of his life to be doing that. It can become unbearable when they all poop at the same time, but just be ready to take lots of trips to the outside bin or get a diaper genie, either way if you forget and put a stenching nappy in an indoor bin, you’ll soon realise…trust me.

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People think I’m crazy for having three kids in three years, what I think is crazy, is waiting a few years then doing it all over again. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits I’m sure for having an age gap, more one on one time with each child, a bit longer between the crazy newborn stages but for me, I haven’t ever got out of the “baby stage” I still haven’t! Nicole is three months so she is still very much a baby! I will be waiting or stopping now I haven’t decided, but literally because I have nowhere to put a fourth baby, the boys are in the buggy, Nicole is on my chest…there is nowhere for another one to go!

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The key of surviving being overrun by nappy wearing hooligans is keeping your cool, if you lose your shit they will lose theirs. The hard times will pass, the tantrums will finish and everything will always end in cuddles.

Life is hard when you have three kids in three years but I’m sure life would be hard having three kids in 10 years! They are kids, they are hard at all stages of life and to be honest…adults aren’t that easy either, are they? Everyone’s going to do it their own way and this is my way…I thrive on the mayhem.

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