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A break from blogging

So  I’ve had a bit of a break from blogging the last few months. I’ve really missed it and feel there are so many things I have missed recording about my little monkey’s.

To re-cap I have two little boys Jack (2.5 yrs) and Michael (1.5 yrs) and write about all the trials and tribulations of being their mummy. Since I stopped blogging things have changed quite a lot, I am now expect a baby GIRL!

I will talk about my pregnancy more in upcoming posts but I’m still in shock it is a girl!

I just wanted to write a quick post about why I haven’t been blogging for a while, there has been no major reason other than life just getting in the way.

So now I have my 2yr old, 1 yr old, 20 weeks Pregnancy and my wedding in 8 weeks! Safe to say I have plenty to write about…..

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My scariest moment as a preemie mum

As a mother to two premature babies, I feel extremely blessed that they are now healthy strapping boys.

Mikey my youngest was 5 weeks premature weighing 4lb 12oz but came home after two days with no complications except mild Jaundice that he didn’t need treatment for,

Jack my eldest was born 10 weeks and 2 days early. He had oxygen for 2 days before taking off the mask himself and never needing it again, Jaundice which was resolved with photo-therapy after a week, he needed a humidified incubator for 3 weeks, he suffered from Patent Ductus Arteriosus which was resolved in 3 days with Ibuprofen, he needed to be tube fed for 5 weeks before moving onto bottled breast milk, he required a nutritional feed for 4 weeks and was underweight at 3lbs and half an oz at birth but is now a healthy 2 stone!

My scariest moment in NICU may be something you wouldn’t expect, it lasted less than a minute and to others may seem like a small misunderstanding, but to me that minute lasted a lifetime and for that minute my world came crashing down.

When Jack was two weeks old I rarely left the ward, the only time was to walk across to the hospital canteen. I made Paul stay by his side while I went to get food. Gone only 10 minutes I already missed him, as I waited to be buzzed back into the ward  I pictured Paul sat by his incubator tickling his feet as usual, but as I entered the door Paul was waiting for me. Instantly I felt sick with fear, he only got half way through his sentence before I broke down, his words…”Emma, we’ve only got 10 minutes left with Jack…” before he could get another word out I crumpled to the floor in tears, I don’t know what I thought had happened, but in the back of my mind I’d prepared my self for the chance something could go wrong.

Finally he got his sentence out, “Emma, stand up, we’ve only got 10 minutes left with Jack before they have to close the area for an hour, there’s nothing wrong with Jack, the baby next to him keeps having seizures so needs to be transferred to a high dependency unit”.

Instantly relief flooded over me, my baby was ok, for that minute I thought I’d lost him, my world collapsed and I felt helpless, as I basked in relief it was quickly replaced by another emotion…guilt. My baby was fine, the worst moment I had experienced was a single minute of misunderstanding, but the parents of the baby next to Jack were experiencing a very real nightmare, they didn’t know why their baby was having seizures, they had the fear of the unknown.

Then it hit me, how very lucky I am that my scariest moment wasn’t real, that amongst everything our baby is healthy and really that’s all that matters.

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His head is blocking the hole, we’ll put him in a freezer bag, Ibuprofen will heal his heart and many more shocking phrases a preemie mum may hear!

I have ‘blogged’ previously about my preemie babies, but incase you haven’t read them here’s a quick run through.

November 2013, Jack was born at 29+5 weeks and spent 6 weeks in NICU, Michael (Mikey) was born at 35 weeks in October 2014 and came home after 2 days. So this post specifically is about Jack.

The title may shock you, my story is unique as are all other preemie mum stories, here are some of the shocking phases (and explanations) I’ve heard as a preemie mum.

#1: “You need steroids!”

What? Steroids? Do I not look buff enough? Well it turned out I didn’t need to bulk up but as my waters went at 25+5 weeks, I’d need two rounds of steroid injections to strengthen Jack’s lungs! It worked, born 4 weeks later, he took his oxygen mask off himself after 2 days!

#2. “He is blocking the hole with his head”

No it’s not as gross as it sounds, when my waters broke at 25+5 weeks it was because of a hole being made in the sac, but Jack quickly turned and blocked it with his head, which meant he stayed cooking for an extra 4 weeks! Genius baby!

#3 “Your hospital tour is today and your baby is coming!”

I’ve condensed this sentence, I told the midwife I was due on a hospital tour that day, I’d come in after leaking more amniotic fluid, she told me “Yes they are touring now, you won’t be on it though, your 2cm dilated…the baby is coming” Ooops!

#4 “He’s breathing!”

You’d think every mother would be dying to hear this and as I knew I was going to be a preemie mum I was over the moon! But them actually having to consider him being alive or not was horrible, the fact they were expecting him to come out unresponsive and had a cardiac arrest table beside me was terrifying.

#5 “We’ll put him in a bag, sort of like a freezer bag”

No I’m not talking about child cruelty, it turned out that being so premature my son was small enough to fit in a freezer bag, being tried and tested it had proved a medical miracle for helping preemie’s stay warm! My response (high on gas & air at the time) was hilarious to those around me “A bag!? Don’t put it over his head! He’ll suffocate”…yep that’s the information I added to the knowledge of the 15 medical staff in the room!

#6 “He’s doing amazingly! He can now tolerate half an ounce of milk every 6 hours!”

Yep…half an ounce, not enough to dab a dry pallet, but for a 3lb & half oz baby, his body being able to tolerate that much was astounding. Plus he’s over 2 stone now at 15 months old, so it hasn’t done any harm!

#7 “Your baby needs Ibuprofen to heal his heart or he’ll need open heart surgery”

The scariest moment by far, we learned Jack had Patent Ductus Arteriosus, a Congenital Heart Condition!.They informed us he’d need Ibuprofen for 3 days and if that didn’t work he’d need open heart surgery! It worked, something available over the counter at your local newsagents saved my baby’s life.

#8 “Your baby can go home”

I’ve heard of people being discharged 6 hours after giving birth, but for us it was 6 weeks. NICU feels like a never ending corridor of doom, working your way from high dependency down to your baby being in a cot with not one tube or wire attached! The moment you step outside those doors into the light, feel the sun on your face and introduce you baby to the outside world is scary but beautiful!