A break from blogging

So  I’ve had a bit of a break from blogging the last few months. I’ve really missed it and feel there are so many things I have missed recording about my little monkey’s.

To re-cap I have two little boys Jack (2.5 yrs) and Michael (1.5 yrs) and write about all the trials and tribulations of being their mummy. Since I stopped blogging things have changed quite a lot, I am now expect a baby GIRL!

I will talk about my pregnancy more in upcoming posts but I’m still in shock it is a girl!

I just wanted to write a quick post about why I haven’t been blogging for a while, there has been no major reason other than life just getting in the way.

So now I have my 2yr old, 1 yr old, 20 weeks Pregnancy and my wedding in 8 weeks! Safe to say I have plenty to write about…..


As proud as poop!

Most mums to be can’t wait for each and every moment of when their baby arrives, but I think most would agree you don’t look forward to the dirty nappies! If I’m honest the thought never bothered me, as I’d nursed for 6 years, wiping bottoms was something I did without a second thought! So I thought I’d be prepared for the novelty of stinky behinds…but I wasn’t.

Both of my sons were premature and suffered from constipation, full term babies can also suffer from this but I was told their prematurity didn’t help. As most of us know (pregnant women especially) Constipation is uncomfortable at the best of times, but to be a little person who has no idea what this pain is, it must be terrifying!

My son Jack who was born at 29+5 weeks gestation, would go a week without pooping, this would result in hard pellets he had to painfully push out before he could ‘unload’ his packed tummy! This sounds horrible, right? It was much worse, he screamed in agony and I was told by my health visitor until he was 3 months he couldn’t be prescribed anything to help him, I tried everything natural….boiled water, orange juice, you name it I tried it.

When he was 2 months old at my wits end I took him to the doctor and to my surprise and anger I was told a baby of any age can have Lactulose, it’s completely natural! It worked, we never had the problem again, after a month of using it, his body had regulated itself, he was full term and the problem never returned!

With my second son Michael (born 35 weeks gestation), he had taken to breast feeding and was pooing every two days! I was so pleased, yet last week I had been aware he hadn’t been for a week, he had done this the odd time before and relieved himself eventually with no struggle, my health visitor assured me as long as he wasn’t struggling then it was fine. Only last week he screamed in agony, I knew without even checking that he was having the same problem Jack had suffered with, as he writhed in agony, I lathered his backside in Vaseline and massaged his tummy as he eventually pushed through the pain. A few days later I was struck down with Sinusitis and was prescribed (BF safe) anti-biotics, as I was breast feeding they went through him and he was again regulated.

To most people constipation is an irritant best not discussed, but being the mother of two babies who have suffered from it, the agony in their scream makes me terrified and helpless, I hope they never have to experience this again!

I was prompted to write this post as my son just had a full feed, then went on his play mat and within minutes…wall-ah! he filled his nappy (and I mean to the rafters)!

So to the mothers who may complain about their babies poopy nappies just be happy they’re doing it pain-free, my babies are both pooping away without batting an eyelid and that makes me…as proud as poop!


A mother’s realisation

In my heart I’ve been a mum since August 2012 but in reality I’ve been a mum since November 2013.

If you’ve read my previous blog posts you will have seen that I first became pregnant in August 2012 but suffered a Molar Pregnancy and then fell pregnant again in January 2013 but suffered a Miscarriage. I then became pregnant in May 2013 before giving birth to my first son Jack in November 2013, 10 weeks and 2 days early, quickly followed by Mikey who was born 5 weeks early in October 2014.

Since becoming a mother, one thing that occurred to me pretty quickly was that you can’t plan, I mean you can but don’t expect things to go the way you had thought. I wanted that beautiful One Born Every Minute moment where I delivered my son with no pain relief and had him on my chest immediately after birth, he’d automatically breast feed, then we’d go home the next day with no glitches. Well with my first he was whisked off to NICU without a glimpse of his face, he never latched because of his prematurity and we spent six weeks ‘rooming in’ on NICU, my second was Breach so I needed a C-section, it took him 14 weeks to Exclusively Breast Feed and we went home after 2 days. I wouldn’t change my experiences for the world, they are the reason I love my children as much as I do, but they are worlds apart from what I had planned.

The next realisation was that the people that rubbed my bump, waited patiently for a kick and promised me babysitting, gifts and help for when the baby was born were nowhere to be seen. It’s not their fault, people just have a habit of disappearing once your baby is born, you see for those who don’t have children they still have the luxury of sleeping in, doing their make up, toileting alone and eating their food warm. They soon realise after your baby is born that they aren’t mother Theresa and this isn’t their baby, so they don’t have to feel responsible and trust me…they don’t!

My house my beautiful house, I pictured a light filled nursery, a special corner in the kitchen for baby food and bottles, carefully stacked toys in the corner of the living room and the sweet smell of a newborn’s head upon entry, but do you know what I got? The ‘nursery’ is our dumping ground for anything that gets in the way, the baby sleeps in our room always has, the ‘nursery’…it stopped being a ‘nursery’ the day our baby came home, baby food and bottle are scattered around the kitchen, the baby bag, the bedroom and most probably the car. The carefully stacked toys (that aren’t half as exciting as mummy’s slipper) are scattered around the house, you are lucky if you can see the colour of my carpet, and that sweet smell…if you want the aroma of new baby, you’d need to bath my baby, put lotion on and sniff before he poops in his fresh nappy, my house smells like baby sick, baby poop and sour milk, sorry…it’s not what I planned (but you remember what I said about plans, right?).

The love, it’s not movie love, it isn’t song love, it’s not how you expect it….people will explain it to you, scientists will try to come up with some formula and doctor’s may even try to diagnose it, but you can’t! That love, the love for your child, the love for the person you made, carried and brought into the world, it’s indescribable! The mess, the smell, the heartbreak, the tiredness and the stress, none of it matters, because you love your baby unconditionally, I can’t tell you why but you just do.